Casper Van Dien

Dallas

Natasha Gregson Wagner

Nico

Rod Steiger

Dr. Frederick Van Helsing

Kim Cattrall

Ulrike

Natasha Lyonne

Rachel

Craig Ferguson

Richard

Natalya Andreychenko

Panthia

Robert Pastorelli

The Count

Gabriel Casseus

Time Bomb

Victor Togunde

Soda Pop

Jason Ross-Azikiwe

Pimp

Flex Alexander

Trigger

Udo Kier

Vincent

Cedrick Terrell

Li'l Monster

Boris Lee Krutonog

Concierge

Marco Hofschneider

Hans

Conchata Ferrell

Wanda, Nico's Mother

Brent Briscoe

George, Nico's Stepfather

John Fleck

Trick

Richard Elfman

Cop with Doughnut

Michelle Csitos

Ulrike Monster Vampire

Elizabeth Sampson

Frida Van Helsing

Elliott James

Lead Singer, Vampire Band

Roberta Hanley

Saleslady

Louis Elfman

Paint Huffer

Robert Peters

Cop #1

Rick Cramer

Cop #2

John Sencio

Alan

Ellia Thompson

The Count's Girlfriend

Peter Lucas

The Count's Henchman

Stephen Porter

Harald

Francesca Lombardo

Dead Body on Couch

Brad Joseph Dubin

Paint Huffer